Word Count 437
Thanks for coming. I’m Jake’s brother, Nathan. And apparently I’m the best man, so I should say a few words.
It’s not easy being Jake’s brother. Smart, reasonably attractive, a doctorate in a field I can hardly spell. Well, that my mother can hardly spell. I feel like the Danny Devito to his Arnold Schwartzenneger. So it’s with a heavy heart that I must add one more check in his column, his marriage to the wonderful Sophia. But I got the good hair, so at least there’s that.
Jake, this is the part where I bet you’ll think I’ll trot out the embarrassing anecdotes from our childhood. And you’d be wrong. I want to talk about some of the attributes that make you who you are. But in an embarrassing fashion.
Everyone, please join me in a toast to the bride and groom.