Brother’s Funny Speech

Word Count 437

Thanks for coming. I’m Jake’s brother, Nathan. And apparently I’m the best man, so I should say a few words.

It’s not easy being Jake’s brother. Smart, reasonably attractive, a doctorate in a field I can hardly spell. Well, that my mother can hardly spell. I feel like the Danny Devito to his Arnold Schwartzenneger. So it’s with a heavy heart that I must add one more check in his column, his marriage to the wonderful Sophia. But I got the good hair, so at least there’s that.

Jake, this is the part where I bet you’ll think I’ll trot out the embarrassing anecdotes from our childhood. And you’d be wrong. I want to talk about some of the attributes that make you who you are. But in an embarrassing fashion.

Everyone, please join me in a toast to the bride and groom.

Congratulations!

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