Word Count: 1152
THANKS MIKE. (I hope that, as Staceys’s husband, I can live up to the image he painted of me or, failing that, at least continue to keep pulling the wool over his eyes!!).
Before I start my speech, I’d just LIKE TO POINT OUT AN AMAZING COINCIDENCE. And it’s not booking our wedding during a major golf tournament that only happens every four years!!
34 years ago today Mike was in exactly the same position I’m in now – well very similar. He was actually getting married himself.
So I’d just like to wish VIV and MIKE a very HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY and present them with this.
(LADIES and GENTLEMEN, you are now about to witness quite a unique event.) This is probably the first and last time that Stacey is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us in public. It is a privilege and an honour to do so.
Thanks for making my wife look so perfect! Lyndsey for doing Stacey’s hair and Tarby for the make-up. GIFTS.
Thank you for filming this for posterity – it must ruin your chance of enjoying the meal, but it’s very much appreciated. GIFT.
Last, but by no means least, I’d like to thank our three bridesmaids: Naomi, Donna & Kirsty. Don’t they look lovely?
The girls also did a very special job for me today ¡V staying close to Stacey to make sure she couldn’t run away at the last moment. I didn’t really expect her to, but when you’ve found somebody very special you don’t want to take any chances. So thank you all for your assistance. GIFT. Also give Michael his GIFT.
So please could you join me in one last toast to the bridesmaids.
Ladies and Gentlemen – to The Bridesmaids!
Here’s to a wonderful evening! I’ll let my best man take over now.