Word Count: 1045
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen
I did ask for an auto-cue for my speech today, as I have a memory like a goldfish, but I was told that the budget had been stretched to capacity and any extras would have to be paid for by myself…( reach for piece of paper) I suddenly realised that this piece of paper is good enough!
For those of you who don’t know me I’m James, Michelle’s Dad and on behalf of my wife Anna and I, I would like to welcome you all here today to celebrate the marriage of our daughter Michelle to George.
I would like to welcome George’s parents, Robert & Jennifer, his sister Amy, as well as all our relatives and friends. I know a lot of you have travelled considerable distances to be here.
Thank you all for coming to see me, it’s very much appreciated.
When I first thought about organizing all of this I was quite worried about getting everything right…actually, I have found it all very easy…You sit back and everything happens. It was just like my own wedding in 1970! I really don’t know what all the fuss is about. The only thing I must say is that I was most upset that my suggestion of the local scout hut as a venue was dismissed without any consideration, however, I must admit the final selection is perfectly acceptable.
MY DAUGHTER MICHELLE
This is the point where I am supposed to say a few embarrassing things about Michelle when she was younger but unfortunately, she has been a perfect daughter. Michelle, you’ve spelled perfect wrong…, anyway, she has more ammunition against me than I have about her so I have called a truce.
Suffice it to say that Annaie and I are both very proud of how she looks today and how she has grown up and are both delighted that she has found someone who she obviously loves and cares for very much.
I clearly remember my own wedding day being one of the proudest days of my life.
I also clearly remember 25th July 1978…look at Michelle… I was just settling down with a few beers to watch the World Cup Final between Argentina & Holland when I got a call from the hospital to say Anna had gone into in labour…Luckily, the game didn’t go into extra time, so I was able to set off after only 90 minutes…Argentina won 3-1.
When I arrived, I was handed an 8lb 2oz baby girl…It was my first daughter. She was my first princess in my own Royal Family.
It was a fantastic, memorable day… because I had Argentina in the sweep at work.
As she grew up there were many milestones along the way.
First steps wearing fluffy pink slippers.
First day at school.
First time away from home and a school trip.
First falling over drunk and breaking her nose…sorry, I was told not to mention the nose incident. I’ve mentioned it once and I think I’ve got away with it.
There is one particular incident that I recall that prepared me for Michelle….
Michelle was 6 years old she went out to buy a small ice cream from the ice cream van. She returned with a double cone with strawberry and vanilla flavors, 2 flakes in the ice cream, hundreds and thousands topping sprinkled on top and the whole work of art was covered in strawberry sauce, topped off with some bubble gum inside the cone…I didn’t get any change and it was at this point that I realized my daughter had expensive taste.
I remember not so long ago being told by all of my children…’when we get married it’ll just be a small do’, but luckily the ice cream incident prepared me for Michelle’s ideas of small.
Michelle has made us very proud. All parents want their children to have a good education and give themselves a good start in life. Michelle went to University and passed out…not literally, I’m not mentioning the nose incident again…she passed with an honours degree.
Today, I look at my daughter and I see an independent, attractive, elegant, stunning young woman. She obviously takes after her mother.
Of course, she inherits other traits from me…
her musical talent…
her allergy to housework…
her appreciation for the finer things in life DOWN GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE
Every Father hopes his daughter will find a reliable, sensible, and considerate partner and as much as you try not to interfere in their lives, you always hope your children will make the right choices in life. Michelle chose George.
I have found that George is reliable, sensible and considerate, especially when planning a trip to the pub, and as this closely matches my own values I think Michelle has made an excellent choice and I welcome George to the McNeely Clan.
George, I hope that you will be able to keep my daughter in the lifestyle in which she has become accustomed. I totally understand why you have chosen a career in the world of gambling!
To help you with your marriage, I thought I would give you some advice based on my 36-year experience of married life.
Marriage will teach you many things… loyalty…self-restraint …obedience…I am still in daily training on these matters.
There is no challenge in a marriage that can’t be overcome by one or more of the following:
I was wrong!
You were right!
I love you!
Finally, Never go to bed in the middle of an argument – be a man stay up and fight and watch some sport…You’ve lost anyway so you might as well get it over with.
I would just like to leave you with this thought…
The actor Richard Burton once said that ‘a woman accepts a man for what he is and then spends the rest of her life trying to change him.’… So, if we can all take one last look at George as we know him because Michelle’s remodeling work starts first thing in the morning.
Finally, if you would all be upstanding, I would like you all to raise a glass for the health and happiness of the bride and groom…Michelle & George.