Funny Father of The Bride

Word Count: 481
Distinguished Guests, Ladies and Gentlemen, Undistinguished guests, and those who have snuck in the back door for a free feed, welcome. I start by welcoming you all to Sophia and Nolan’s wedding. I’d like to thank all of you for being here today, especially those of you who knew that I’d be saying a few words – I am quite touched that you still decided to come.

Today is, of course, a celebration, not just of the love that has united Sophia and Nolan in marriage, but also of the families that have created, moulded and influenced the lives of these two special people. So my wife, Jenny, and I would like to extend a very warm welcome to Jo and Carl and their family, and to relatives and friends of both families. Thank you all for joining us in celebrating this very special day. It is good to see so many friends and family here to celebrate their marriage.
Over the last 20 years I’ve had the privilege of watching Sophia blossom from a gorgeous baby daughter to an independent, firm-of-purpose teenager and on into the beautiful woman we see before us today – mind you she’s still independent and firm-of-purpose! So, Nolan, you have been warned – the warranty expired this afternoon!

Now it’s customary on these occasions to offer the happy couple some worldly advice on marriage, and this is the one time where they have to hear me out.

My best advice for Nolan is to make the most of the honeymoon period. For those of you who don’t know when this is, it’s the period between “I do” and “You’d better”.

Then there is the recognition that marriage is an equal relationship – both spouses find that they are contributing 70%.

One of my great learnings from Stage III Chemistry at varsity came one morning at 9:00am when the professor strode in from the side of the lecture theatre to propose the deep question “Why is it that people who squeeze the toothpaste tube from the end wind up married to someone who squeezes it from the middle?” I cSophiaot remember the rest of the day’s lecture, but I have remembered that bit. The big things in a marriage are often OK in the end, but the little things can be a whole different matter.[/drizzle]

My parting advice is that old married couples know that the secret of a successful marriage is patience, tolerance and forgiveness – failing that a bad memory seems to be quite useful. Except of course when birthdays and Sophiaiversaries are involved.

I wish you fun and excitement for today – hopes and dreams for tomorrow – and love, happiness and talking forever!

All that remains for me to say is to ask everyone to have a good time this evening and would you please stand and join me in a toast to the bride and groom, Sophia and Nolan Moon.


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