Word Count: 774
Guests, family, relatives, in-laws, and outlaws, young and old, friends, friends of friends, freeloaders and hangers-on – let me extend a warm welcome to Melissa & John’s wedding reception celebration, may I thank you all for coming, special thanks indeed to those that have traveled from Portugal to share in this special occasion.
Not everyone here may be aware that the human brain is a most fascinating and complex machine. It starts work the moment we are born and never stops until the moment we stand up to speak in public. On that basis please forgive me for writing down my speech
I think today has gone really well and I hope you all are having and will continue to have a good time.
My problem is that I never realized that giving something away could cost so much, but in the long run it should be worth it just to get rid of her.
I feel extremely lucky and humble in being able to say that I have two wonderful daughters and seeing them here together gives me great pleasure and reinforces the deep sense of pride I already feel today. Indeed, earlier as I accompanied Melissa here there could not have been a prouder man, and as we walked side by side down the isle I thought, and I’m sure you’ll agree, that Melissa looked absolutely stunning … and John, well he looked absolutely stunned.
Today I’m meant to welcome John into the family, but in reality, he’s been a big part of our family for a few years already, but anyway John welcome to the clan, I just hope that the ownership is as good as the test drive.
Now, it’s customary on these occasions for me to offer the happy couple some worldly advice on marriage. As is the fashion today, Melissa and John have already set up home together and are living in a nice little house in Walderslade. In my day, things were rather different, we were not so forward, in fact, we were very innocent. On our Wedding day, Jenny and I sat up all night waiting for our sexual relations to arrive… Joking aside, there is much I could say on this subject, but Oscar Wilde summed it up with these words, “Women are meant to be loved, not understood” and as someone who has himself been married for 35 years to one of the loveliest women I have ever had the good fortune to begin to understand, I still can’t pretend to have all the answers, but my five-point plan for making marriage work is;
Love and respect one another
Be honest with each another
Keep talking and listening to one another
Give each other some space
And trust one another …………….I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT BECAUSE I READ IT ON THE INTERNET.
Melissa looks absolutely gorgeous doesn’t she…… but it doesn’t seem all that long ago that she was running around the house naked, throwing her little tantrums and wetting her knickers leaving a puddle in aisle two of Sainsbury’s, just a typical teenager really, but the time has really flown by and she’s been brought up to be a decent, caring and honest person or so she tells us. She’s never given us much trouble or many reasons to worry, she’s a perfect young lady who I am proud to call my daughter and I’m sure John will be proud to call his wife.
Of course, fathers are naturally biased where daughters are concerned, but in Melissa, I see an independent, intelligent, beautiful young woman, a daughter to be truly proud of. A daughter who, throughout her life, has always been ready to face a challenge
I’m a great believer in marriage, I think everyone should get married because no-one deserves to be happy their entire life.
Moving on, I would like to thank everyone that has contributed to making this day such a great one. First, Melissa & John for deciding to get married in the first place, to the bridesmaids for adding a bit of color, especially Kelly for all her help and support for her sister. To my grandchildren Rhys & Freya because I love them so much and they have behaved so well. And finally to my wife Jenny, the most beautiful woman here today, without whom none of this would have been possible.
Finally, I would ask you all to join me in this toast:-
Here’s to the past, for all you’ve learned.
Here’s to the present for all that you share.
Here’s to the future for all your plans together.
And here’s to Love, Laughter, and Happy Ever After.
The Bride and Groom.