Humorous Bride Speech

Word Count: 967

Did anyone see that polar bear walk by just now? No? Shame, they make such terrific icebreakers.

I know it”s not really traditional for a bride to make a speech at her wedding, let alone before the groom but anyone who knows me knows how hard it can be to keep me quiet and today is no exception. However, I promise to try and keep it short as I know the day is full of speeches and I”m also quite keen to see my Dad on the dance floor.

Before I start I would just like to say – me in a dress!!! Take a long hard look and remember this moment guys, it”s a once off! I never thought I”d find myself here with N today as I”d always hoped for an arranged marriage. Turns out George Clooney wasn”t so keen though so.[drizzle]

All kidding aside thank-you to all of you for coming here today to share our day with us. I know for the majority of you it has meant making huge efforts in rearranging your personal lives as well as arranging travel and accommodation and we appreciate that more than you realise. Of course there are some people and some faces missing as I look around today who, for various reasons, cannot be with us to share the day. I”d like to make a toast to these people who are far away today but still in our thoughts, or looking down on us, hopefully with a wee dram of their own. So would you all please raise your glasses for a moment to ”Absent friends and loved ones”.

I”d also like to thank some very special people while I am up here.

Mom. There just are not words to say how much I owe to you or how much I love you. If anyone has ever epitomised the phrase ”my rock” it”s you. You have always been my role model, my confidante and my biggest fan. Over the years you have given me a combination of love support and sound advice coupled with free rein to go and make a total muppet of myself.which I frequently did. But you were always patient and understanding with me afterwards. I am sure I have given you a few grey hairs but I hope I have made you proud and made all your hard work worthwhile.

And my Dad.s. Most people stand and say how lucky they are to have a wonderful father. I am truly blessed for I have two men to call my Dad. You are both very different men yet you both offer me unconditional love and support, and always have. Without both of you I would not be where I am today and I was very proud and honoured to have two such special men by my side as I walked down the aisle earlier.

Today I also gain another set of parents: M&S. From the day I met you I felt welcomed and accepted. I am very lucky to have such great in-laws. Thank-you for raising N so well and rest assured I will look after and love him just as well.am I right in thinking there”s no warranty card for him? No? Worth a thought. I have a small gift here for you from me to say thank-you for welcoming me into your family.

And our wedding party.I know N has some gifts to give out yet too and some thank-you”s of his own but I would like to take time to thank my bridesmaids. K, my chief bridesmaid is also my best friend, though she does like to confuse the new doctors at work by introducing herself to them as my life partner.Sorry N! She has been a true friend to me in the last year listening to both tears and hysterical laughter – often together, and is one in a million. Thanks K. I hope this goes some way to making up for the Bridezilla act.

And my two other bridesmaids – my baby sisters. You are both beautiful, amazing people and I am more proud of you than you know. Telling M her dress was lime green with purple daisies on it made for good sport for mom and I at the time but I think you will all agree they look stunning – not really allowed on my day but I”ll forgive you! These are for you.

Uncle B! Thanks for the reading, you did me proud and it”s wonderful to have you here today. This is just a small token of our thanks.[/drizzle]

Lastly onto the reason I am stood here dressed like a girl for the first and hopefully last time. N.well I did tell you all you had to do today was shave and turn up. You did and babe you look amazing. I don”t think I have ever loved you more. We chose Chasing Cars for our wedding music as its ”our song” and the words have always said how we feel about each other. I”d like to reiterate a few of those words to you now. “I don”t know where, confused about how as well. Just know that these things will never change for us at all”. People often say if you can”t marry the one you live with, marry the one you can”t live without. I”ve done both. We don”t always make life easy for each other but you are my soul mate and I would never have it any other way.

With that I would like to let you all breathe a huge sigh of relief that I am going to shut the heck up, and turn you over to my husband, possibly the only time her can ever have the last word without it being ”yes dear you”re right”. Over to you babe.

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