Evening everyone! I’m Jack, and I’ve had the dubious honor of being Alex’s best friend since college, where we first bonded over our shared ability to burn microwave mac and cheese. Who knew that guy would end up marrying someone as incredible as Rachel?
I first met Alex in our freshman dorm, where he convinced me that doing laundry once a month was, and I quote, ‘totally normal.’ Rachel, I’d like to personally thank you for fixing that particular habit of his. The world smells better because of you.
You know, Alex and I have been through some interesting adventures together. Like that time he tried to impress Rachel on their third date by claiming he was an expert rock climber. Spoiler alert: he wasn’t. But Rachel, you must have seen something special in this guy who ended up stuck halfway up the wall, because here we are!
Alex, my friend, you’ve come a long way from the guy who once tried to cure a hangover with a mixture of energy drinks and gummy bears. You’ve found someone who not only puts up with your terrible puns but actually laughs at them – though Rachel, we really need to talk about encouraging him.
But in all seriousness, watching you two together has redefined what relationship goals look like. Rachel, you’ve somehow managed to turn my chaotic best friend into a semi-functioning adult who actually owns an iron – even if we’re not sure he knows how to use it.
So, let’s raise our glasses to Alex and Rachel! May your love continue to grow, may your Netflix queue always be in sync, and may you always remember that Alex’s version of events from college is highly questionable. To the happy couple!