Good evening everyone! So, traditionally brides don’t give speeches, but since when have I been traditional? I mean, I proposed to Mark via a scavenger hunt that ended in an escape room – which, by the way, we almost didn’t escape from because someone (looking at you, honey) was convinced the final clue was hidden in a light bulb.
First, to our incredible families. Mom and Dad, thank you for teaching me that love means accepting someone fully – weird hobbies and all. That lesson really came in handy when I discovered Mark’s extensive collection of rubber ducks. Yes, everyone, my husband has 147 rubber ducks, each with its own name and backstory. And I fell in love with him anyway.
To my new in-laws, Barbara and Tom – thank you for raising a man who doesn’t just think outside the box, but probably has never seen the box. The story of how Mark tried to learn Japanese just to order authentic ramen still makes me laugh. He spent six months practicing, only to discover the restaurant owner was from Ohio.
I actually met Mark at a pet cemetery. No, really! We were both there to bury our respective pet goldfish. I was giving Princess Bubbles a proper send-off, and he was organizing a tiny Viking funeral for Sir Swims-a-Lot. Instead of thinking I was crazy for writing a eulogy for a goldfish, he pulled out his own – written in rhyming couplets, no less. That’s when I knew he was either my soulmate or completely bonkers. Turns out, he’s both.
Our first date was equally unusual. We went urban foraging – basically looking for edible plants in the city. We found exactly zero edible plants, got chased by an angry squirrel, and ended up ordering pizza. But during that chaos, I learned that Mark could turn any disaster into an adventure.
To my bridesmaids – thank you for supporting me through every crazy idea, especially the time I decided to learn fire juggling to impress Mark. Special thanks to Jenny for having a fire extinguisher ready. Don’t worry, Mark, I’ve given up that particular hobby.
Mark, my love, my partner in weirdness – you’re the only person I know who would help me build a blanket fort in our living room for a job interview because, and I quote, “Corporate environments should be cozier.” You’re the one who encouraged me to start my bizarre business of writing personalized songs for people’s houseplants. You even wrote the jingle!
I love that we have our own language of inside jokes and references. Like how “purple elephant” now means “I forgot to buy milk again,” and “doing a Kevin” means “accidentally starting a small kitchen fire while trying to boil water.” Sorry, Kevin – your cooking mishap will live on forever in our household!
Everyone, I’d like you to join me in a rather unique toast. Under your chairs, you’ll find a small bubble wand. Mark and I believe that love, like bubbles, should be full of light, bring joy to others, and sometimes be a little messy. So, let’s all stand and raise our bubble wands to the sky!
As these bubbles float up and around us, remember that love doesn’t have to follow a script. Sometimes it starts in a pet cemetery, grows through questionable urban foraging adventures, and blossoms into something beautifully weird and perfectly imperfect.
To my husband Mark – thank you for being the kind of person who names rubber ducks, who thinks blanket forts are valid workplace environments, and who loves every quirky part of me. Here’s to a lifetime of bizarre adventures, questionable decisions, and uncontrollable laughter.
May our love story continue to be one that makes people say, ‘Wait, they did what?'”